1:43 am
Dream State
It’s cold outside. The sky is
filled with grey darkness. The icy winds that blow through the window feel like
hurls of fire breath that burn at my skin. I don’t want to go outside, but they
are coming for me…
My dress is brown, long, and
torn. My hair is wrapped up in soft white cotton cloth. My feet are bare; cut
up, muddied, and bleeding, but I feel no pain. They are already at the door.
That mob of white faces.
White faces filled with fire and covered in
blood. They made the wind so strong. They made it violent and cold so it would
obstruct my escape. I fear my brown skin
will melt in the icy winds... There is a woman here. White faced, but has blood
as black as coals. This is her home; warm and healing. She took me in, knowing
what I was to them.
My friend... She will die with me, here in this house.
No! don’t open the front door! Please! She doesn’t listen to me,
but continues to walk towards the door. She tells me that the only way to
escape in out the back, where the winds are hurling. Go! She screams, for she knows they will take their time on her first,
before they chase me down. I cry for her, but it’s what she wants... So, for her I run. I don’t wait for her to
open the door. I run like the wind is
catching my feet. I run towards the woods, where there is no light shining. I
run towards the darkness, where I know they will have trouble seeing me. I keep running until I start to hear the deep
and frightening resonation of dogs barking. I can see their shape; their paws
mushing into the ground and their fur swaying in the wind. I feel they are
running behind me faster than I am running forward.
I fear. I panic. I can’t think. I can’t see. I get
slower, until, I can’t move…
The sun starts to shine and
the dark forest ahead of me quickly disappears. Nothing but green grass is all
around me now. The wind is dying as the sun begins to shine. The barking stops.
I turn around to see, not a crowd of people behind me, but one man. I maintain
my fear. He looks at me; analyzing me in my static state. He is tall, unusually
so. His pale white skin makes a deep contrast to his luminous black hair that flows
freely behind his back. He wears dark, modern clothing, highly unlike the 18th
century style of the mob that pursued me. I still remain in my raggedy dress. He
begins to slowly walk towards me. My fear escalates, but I can’t make a sound.
He gets so close that I see his dark shadow covering over mine. My heart races
faster than it ever did before. I can’t face him; I can’t look into his eyes...
I close my eyes.
I wake up…
6:34 am
It’s so cold…
Dumb boy… He turned the air conditioning on, not
realizing the fan that was blowing in my face…. I look at the clock. 6:40 am. Agh! Less
than four hours until the exam. I
look behind me and see my man sleeping in peaceful bliss.
Ha, this jerk got
me sick the night before I have my midterm exam. Does he think I won’t get him
back?
I get up real quiet like, making sure not to wake him. If I got to stay up this early, I’m going
to make it count. I head for the kitchen as images of fattening breakfast
foods flood my mind. Buttery pancakes
with powdered sugar and blueberry syrup. Stuffed cheesy omelet with sausage
bits. Salty, greasy bacon… The list
goes on as I walk in the darkness. I’ve been dieting all week; attempting to
clean my body and mind in preparation for this exam. Now that its close, I’m
going all out.
7:25 am
Breakfast has been served and eaten.
I settled for some homemade biscuits and scrambled
eggs. The boyfriend came into the
kitchen just as I was finishing up. Smells
good in here… But where’s the food at?
He asked in confusion. Ah…
Biscuits are in the freezer. Make your own eggs. Cold yes… But he made me
even colder…
My phone started buzzing. 7:45 am. It’s time to start getting ready.
7:46 am
In the shower. Hot
water falls on my back. The smell of dove soap lathered on my body fills the
air. Shower interrupted… The boyfriend barges in to take a piss. He doesn’t
leave right after but lingers around to ask what I am going to make for his
lunch today. Shower bliss is now ruined…
8:30 am
Before I put my clothes on, I weigh myself on the scale.
200.6 Lbs. Congratulations Tashi, you
lost .4 pounds since last weigh in. Not so bad I guess. But after today, I’m going on a mega grind
diet…